Am I Truly Ready To Open Up About My Cancer Diagnosis?

Pam describes her experience with cancer:

I was diagnosed when I was 43 years old. I was enjoying a wonderful marriage with my husband David, and our children who were eleven and two at the time. The diagnosis was Stage 1 Triple Negative Breast Cancer. While logically I understood the odds were in my favour – the terror of knowing I was walking around with cancer cells overwhelmed me in a way I didn’t know possible.

The loss of control was unsettling, so regaining it suddenly became paramount. I kept the diagnosis quiet, instructing a few close family and friends that nothing should change, no pity was to be given, and under no circumstance was anyone to give me the sad-faced “how are you?” I didn’t want my kids to feel scared or assume anyone else’s worry. 

It took me ten years to talk about my experience – to share that I had cancer and to reference it as something in my past. For some of us, cancer is a constant voice in the back of our minds. Every ache, pain or cough triggers the fear that ‘it’s back’. 

I felt like my secret was part of my protection. I kinda still do.

I was told the way I handled it was ‘brave’, that I was strong. Far from it. I hid my fear and did what most people do in times of crisis. My best. Nothing about me, or what happened to me was special. Just another person with a scary diagnosis. I still don’t say I’m a ‘survivor’, but I’m surviving. I’m here. 12 more years to love my family, contribute to my community, and embarrass my children with my kitchen dance moves.

So damn lucky.

What was it like to receive treatment at the Windsor Regional Cancer Centre?

My treatment plan included a double mastectomy, eight rounds of chemotherapy, reconstruction, and a hysterectomy. The staff at the Windsor Regional Cancer Centre became family. They knew things happening in my life that most didn’t. They gave me the extra love, comfort and encouragement I needed. They filled me with positivity, joined me in laughing through the crazy moments, and most importantly, they healed me. I never doubted their advice and guidance. I’m here because of them, my devoted husband David, my brilliant girlfriend Sue and my amazing Family Doc – Dr. Lisa Jansen.

After facing cancer, what’s something you want to share with others?

Be kind. You really don’t know what someone may be experiencing to make them irritable (hello steroids!), sad or unwelcoming.

Pay attention. Has it been months since you’ve heard from a friend? Have they declined every invite? Maybe it’s time for a visit to check in.

Trust the pros. We have an amazing Cancer Clinic with staff who will devote themselves to your survival.

Ask for help. Don’t be shy about asking for a ride, someone to take your kids to a movie, a visit to make you laugh, a casserole!

Chemo is just medicine. You may be imagining the chemo from decades ago. Don’t. So many side effects can be managed now. It really is manageable.

People survive. Don’t assume the worst about cancer.